The Cult of Frank the Fingerer
The Cult of Frank the Finger, or simply "the Cult," is the religious cult known for their public worship of Frank the Fingerer. The Cult is widely disliked by the Phallica population, with the only accepting populations being those of Sova Scrotia and the Badlands. History The Cult of Frank the Fingerer first began some time during the Second Era. Various tribes began to worship some unknown deity, with members showing great signs of hedonism and violence. Though small in number,these religious tribes tended to attack other settlements, regardless of whether or not they could succeed, and attempt to sexually assault as many people as possible. As the early people grew to modern settlements, the members of the tribes stayed isolated, only acting as an occasional annoyance. Shortly before the beginning of the Great War, a great surge of apparent worshipers caused great concern in the mage community. In the midst of wide cities, people were suddenly openly worshiping an unknown deity, fingering each other and attempt to do the same to bystanders. Mages investigated the matter, discovering that these deviants claimed to be in the service of "Frank the Fingerer." Though initially ignored by most due to the insanity of such a notion, the massive surge of these worshipers across all of Phallica created the notion that a threat was real. At this time, a single individual named Franklin identified himself as a prophet of Frank the Fingerer. The man traveled around to a multitude of cities bringing with him a great deal of followers. The first city he appeared in, Miami, was immediately displeased with him. As Franklin and his followers preached in the square of the town, fingering and violating each other publicly, onlookers shouted insults and threatened the cultists. This was the first time the phrase "The Cult of Frank the Fingerer" was used. Guards began to rush the cultists to force them to leave, but Franklin began to shout to the ground: Suddenly, giant stone fingers rose from the earth and impaled approaching guards, and the cultists fled in the ensuing chaos. Since the incident, the Cult of Frank the Fingerer has been widely recognized as a terroristic, hostile threat by most of the nations of Phallica. Meanwhile, Franklin continued his travel around Phallica, dodging authorities and spreading the word of his god. Many small cults appeared, much to the worry of the mages and the Church of Prostaticus, who especially hated the Cult. The Great War While tensions between the Orcs and the Gnomes were rising, the Cult set their sights on the Badlands. Led by Franklin, the cultists arrived in Orkadelphia and began wildly preaching about their god. The Orcs, though appalled by the actions and words of the cultists, feared to interrupt them, as the stories of Franklin and the Cult's power have already traveled far. Logros Skullfucker, the Orc Warlord at the time, gathered his royal guard with the intent of crushing the Cult. During his journey, however, he wondered if the fabled power of the Cult could be used to advance the Orcs' interests. Logros met Franklin in Orkadelphia center square, demanding that Logros demonstrate the full power of god. Franklin agreed, saying that Frank the Fingerer held the power to turn mountains to dust. Logros, along with his royal guard, followed Franklin to the base of Mount Sphincter in the northern Badlands. As his followers began a horrifying, unsanitary ritual of pure debauchery, Franklin chanted to his god: Logros and his royal guards looked on in awe as an immense storm began to brew above them. Immense blasts of lightning shot out from the clouds, blasting the cliff face of Mount Sphincter repeatedly and sending massive rock chunks soaring across the Badlands. A mere 30 seconds later, a gaping hole over 100 meters wide was carved through to the other side of Mount Sphincter. At this moment, Logros realized the power of the Cult of Frank the Fingerer. He invited Franklin to serve as his advisor in the royal court, much to the dismay of other Orcs. Franklin accepted, saying "It brings me great joy to see the might of the great Frank the Fingerer recognized by the entirety of the Badlands," to which Logros replied "Uh, yeah...sure." According to eyewitness reports, Franklin was very often seen with Logros. Cultists began to be integrated into the Orc army, under the condition that they were only allowed to finger each other and not the Orcs. Those close to Logros began to notice a shift in his political attitude; Logros began to openly hate Gnomes, calling for the dissolution of the Gnome state entirely. Whether or not this is a result of Franklin's influence is unknown. At the diplomatic meeting between the Gnomes and Orcs regarding land disputes, Franklin was present at Logros's side the entire meeting. Before Logros said anything, Franklin would whisper his opinion in Logros's ear. At the time of Pinkles Scufflenuts III's death at the hands of Logros, Franklin was chanting praises of Frank the Fingerer as the Great War began. While Logros prepared his armies, he opted to leave much of the Cult behind in the Badlands. Training exercises have proved that the cultists were incompatible with the disciplined Orc armies, especially the rampant sexual assault. They were asked to defend the Badlands while Logros and Franklin began their surprise naval invasion of the Gnomes. However, the Cult of Frank the Fingerer denied Logros's orders; they surged forth from the Badlands, invading the neutral country Florida not under the banner of the Badlands, but under the banner of Frank the Fingerer. A great number of cultists, thousands in number, invaded as many Floridian towns as possible. Untold thousands were murdered by the cultists, generally from excessive fingering, and immense chaos was sown. Cultists specifically targeted the Church of Prostaticus, make sure to cause as much damage and harm to believers and their churches as possible. This prompted a panicked response from the Floridian government and the Church of Prostaticus, specifically the founding of the Battle Nuns of Prostaticus, to stem the cultist tide. While the cultists' holy war raged in Florida, Franklin accompanied Logros during his invasion, employing the magic of Frank the Fingerer on the battlefield to fell Logros's foes and tear apart armies. Shortly before the conclusion of the war at the Fields of Spindle in the Fields of Stayne, Franklin met privately with Logros and offered him a deal. If Logros pledged his loyalty to Frank the Fingerer, then Frank would imbue Logros with the power to fight the Dwarven King Hafir, who had already been empowered by Prostaticus at this point. Knowing the coming battle would be a catastrophic loss without the full aid of a god, Logros took the gambit. He was suddenly filled with a great power that turned Logros into an unmatched creature of rage, chaos, and sexual violence, and he took to the battlefield, but he was ultimately killed in battle. After the defeat of Logros and the retreat of the Orcs, Franklin and his followers fled the Fields of Stayne, never to be seen again. The Holy Cocksade While Franklin disappeared and the Great War came to an official end, the Cult of Frank the Fingerer continued to terrorize the residents of Florida. After a coordinated effort from the Floridian mage's guilds, the armies of Florida, and the Church of Prostaticus, the unstoppable tide of fingering from the Cult of Frank the Fingerer was halted. Although their resistance inflicted many casualties, the Cult was eventually pushed back and seemingly eradicated. Additionally, the Orcs outlawed worship of Frank the Fingerer in agreement with the Treaty of Scufflenuts. With the disappearance of Franklin and the destruction of the Cultists, Phallica finally thought itself free of the Cult. It is unknown what became of Franklin and if he is still alive to this day, though the Cult of Frank the Fingerer has been certainly active. Although their numbers have decreased due to the Holy Cocksade, the Cult still goes strong, with different sects appearing weekly and occasional towns ravaged by reports of fingering. Beliefs The Cult of Frank the Fingerer has no written record of their own beliefs system, though observers have constructed a rough set of common ideas held by the Cult. Even though some cults appear suddenly with no contact from outside cults, they consistently follow the same patterns and beliefs, leading mages to believe that Frank the Fingerer somehow influences members to follow a way of thinking. Members seem to believe in a hedonistic ideology, in that they can perform whatever actions they please so long as it is enjoyable. This often leads to incredibly dangerous and criminal actions performed in the name of their god. Chaos and evil are at the core of the cultists as a result of their hedonistic thinking. They believe such actions please Frank the Fingerer, who strengthens their orifices and grants them blessings of pleasure. One of the most shared ideas among the members of the Cult is a focus on the act of forced fingering. The members will often try to finger their own orifices, those of other members, or unwilling strangers. Often the cultists will get far too into it, and fingering leads to fisting, which can lead to extreme damage and sometimes pain to the recipient. Despite extreme damage to their own orifices, cultists seem to ignore pain and have no adverse effects from the damage. The Cult sees the Church of Prostaticus, a beacon of order and good, as the antithesis to Frank the Fingerer. They have grown to despise Prostaticus and the Church, often organizing attacks on anything associated with the Church. Organization The Cult has no formal organization; since it exists as a multitude of small sects that occasionally unite under a single leader, no formal organization has been established. It is widely believed that Franklin is the closest the Cult will have to a generalized leader, but even then, his influence is limited, as the Cult has a strong distaste for any sort of order or hierarchy. Sects have been known to fight over positions of leadership, and there have been instances in which Cults have openly attacked each other.